You are not who you think you are...

"Who the %*#$ are you?" -The Who

I've often challenged my students with the idea that they are not who they think they are. Some lively discussions have come from these sessions and I hope that it's fostered opportunities for introspection and critical self-examination.

Let's start with the idea that everybody has a version of their self-image that essentially says, "I'm a great person." It's extremely rare to find someone who willingly embraces and admits that they are a less-than-stellar human being. We all think that we are right most of the time. We all think our opinions are well-reasoned and reasonable (not the same thing). We all believe that we can be a positive example for most people at most times. Can we agree on this basic and reasonable (to me anyway) premise?

Good. Now, ponder the idea that you are not who you think you are, but who everyone else in the world thinks you are. Sound complicated? It's not, really. Considering the basic premise, think of someone you know who's a real jerk. C'mon, you know one--maybe it's me! Does the jerk in question think they are a jerk? Of course not. Do other people think this person is a jerk? Some probably do and some don't. But here's the crux of my argument: If the preponderance of people who know you think you are a jerk, then you're a jerk! You are who everyone else thinks you are.

Realistically, everyone falls somewhere along the Jerk Continuum and where they fall is largely subjective, based on the observer. But remember: If you are in a group of friends and you think that everyone else is pretty cool, you just might be the jerk!